We talk a lot about our “why” in sales and coaching cultures. You’ve heard it a hundred times: “You’ve got to know your why.” It’s said to be the cornerstone of any successful journey. But here’s the truth: I’ve never felt like I could give anyone a definitive answer as to what my own why is. A few weeks ago, I asked our membership if they struggled with this too—and many of you said yes. So today, I want to explore this a little deeper and help you figure out how to find your “why,” if it hasn’t come to you yet.
Why is Finding Your “Why” So Important?
You’ve probably heard Simon Sinek talk about it in his book Start with Why. He explains that people and businesses succeed long-term because they’re driven by a deeper sense of purpose, not just profits or external rewards. Your “why” is what motivates you when the going gets tough. It’s what gets you up in the morning and keeps you going through challenges.
For many of us in sales, it’s crucial. Knowing your “why” can give meaning to your work and prevent burnout. But here’s the thing—finding it isn’t always easy.
Why It’s Hard to Define Your “Why”
A lot of people struggle to define their why for a few reasons:
- We feel like it should be something big. We think our “why” has to change the world or be something monumental, but it doesn’t. It could be simple, personal, and still be powerful.
- We get caught up in external factors. We focus on things like money, recognition, or success. Those things matter, but they’re not your deeper “why.”
- We haven’t spent enough time reflecting. Sometimes, you just need the right questions to get you thinking in the right direction.
How You Can Discover Your Why
It’s not about forcing an answer—it’s about going through a process that will guide you to it. Let me walk you through a few steps that could help.
1. Ask Yourself Powerful, Open-Ended Questions
Instead of directly asking, “What’s my why?”—which can feel overwhelming—try more approachable questions to help uncover it:
- What makes you feel most fulfilled at work and in life?
- When have you felt most proud of yourself?
- What would you do with your life if you didn’t need a paycheck?
- If you could speak to the world, what would you talk about?
These questions don’t have to be answered all at once, but they’ll get you thinking about what drives you on a deeper level.
2. Reflect on Peak Moments
Take a moment to reflect on the most memorable, rewarding experiences in your life. Often, your “why” is hidden in those moments. These experiences might not be directly tied to work, but they’ll give you clues about what truly energizes you.
Think about:
- A time you felt on top of the world, either personally or professionally.
- When you helped someone and felt deeply satisfied.
- An experience where you overcame a big challenge and felt stronger afterward.
These moments highlight what you value and what you feel driven to do more of.
3. Discover Your Core Values
Your “why” is usually tied to your core values. There are many resources and exercises out there that can help you identify your top 3-5 values—things like integrity, family, freedom, creativity, or growth.
A couple of questions to consider:
- When do you feel most like yourself?
- What principles do you hold onto, even in tough situations?
Knowing your values will help ground your “why” in something deeply personal and authentic.
4. Think About the Impact You Want to Make
Sometimes, our “why” emerges when we think about the impact we want to have on the world—or on others. For those of us in sales, you can frame it like this:
- What difference do you want to make in your clients’ lives?
- How do you want people to feel when they interact with you?
- What do you want people to say about you when you’re not in the room?
Many of us find deep satisfaction when we’re helping others, whether that’s helping a family achieve homeownership, or creating stability for our own families.
5. Start Small
Your “why” doesn’t need to be some grand, life-changing thing right away. It can be as simple as wanting to provide a better life for your family, being a role model, or gaining financial freedom. These “small whys” can grow and evolve over time. It’s okay if it doesn’t feel 100% clear right now.
Wrapping It Up
Here’s what I want to leave you with today: it’s okay if you don’t have your “why” fully figured out yet. Finding it is a process, and it’s one that takes time and reflection. It’s not about the pressure to come up with a perfect answer. It’s about paying attention to what drives you, what makes you feel alive, and what impact you want to have.
I challenge you to take some time to think about the questions and steps I’ve laid out here. The more you reflect on it, the clearer your “why” will become. And remember, it’s a journey—your “why” might evolve as you grow.
Let me know how this resonates with you, and feel free to share any insights that come up along the way. We’re all in this together.